


A Human Thing - Dirk x Todd ONE SHOT

by ironandsilverr



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironandsilverr/pseuds/ironandsilverr
Summary: Dirk has been behaving strangely ever since he came back from Blackwing. Can Todd get him to open up?
Relationships: Todd Brotzman & Dirk Gently, Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	A Human Thing - Dirk x Todd ONE SHOT

**Author's Note:**

> hi friends! queen of writing for dead fandoms is back!
> 
> I wrote this one shot weeks ago for myself and never proof-read, so if there are any mistakes, please excuse!
> 
> As the tags already state, this is a Hurt/Comfort fic, which other than a very slight hint at it, is smut free. So everyone enjoy this very fluffy mess :)
> 
> This One Shot is set right after Dirk returned from Blackwing and the gang has just started working on the new case. (Don't worry, even if you know nothing of season 2 you can absolutely read this One Shot, no knowledge required).  
>  In this set of events however, the things that happened to him at Blackwing are way worse (cw!!).  
>  Also, Dirk knows way less of normal human life than he does in the canon. that's important ;)
> 
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> cw: mentions of starvation, electroshocking, whipping, slapping   
> cw: crying. a lot of crying

“I can’t believe you’ve never had Chinese food before!” Todd exclaimed.

“I don’t know what to tell you, it just never…interested me.” Dirk answered.

They have had quite a lovely meal indeed. To celebrate them all being together again, Todd had suggested to order Chinese food and spent the evening chilling in his, trashed yet still existing, apartment.

Farah had left their gathering a few minutes prior. They had gotten carried away so it was already quite late, and her apartment was located across the entire city. She had to leave before all the busses were through. They had also all agreed, that this day had been exciting enough and they could all need a good night’s sleep.

Todd stacked the empty food containers on top of each other, carelessly dropping them on the kitchen counter. He was way to tired and lazy to deal with the trash today. This was definitely a problem for future-Todd to worry about. Not that his apartment was particularly clean to begin with.

Dirk raised an eyebrow at Todd’s careless nature, clearly judging him. He swiped his hand over the old coffee table, ridding its surface of crumbs and dust.

“You should really do something about the state of your apartment.” Dirk murmured.

“Once I have enough money to move or get it fixed, sure. Top of my priority list right now.” Todd exclaimed sarcastically.

He reentered the living room, mainly to come collect the empty beer bottles strewn about the room. Not that Dirk would drink alcohol, but Todd and Farah had decided that a beer or two wouldn’t hurt after such a tumultuous day. As he picked up the bottles, his eyes fell on Dirk, who sat awkwardly on the edge of the sofa, his fingers kneading into the cushion.

“Are you alright?” Todd asked. A question he had repeated at least 10 times ever since Dirk had returned.

“Sure, sure.” Dirk answered absentmindedly.

Todd somehow knew that he was lying. Dirk had been behaving strangely ever since he had returned from Blackwing. Todd could only guess what happened in these past two months.

But Todd wasn’t one to rush anybody – he thought, if Dirk wanted to talk, he would talk. So Todd dropped the subject and returned to the kitchen.

Just as he was about to give in and tackle the dishes, he heard Dirk’s voice coming from the living room.

“Todd, can I ask you something?” Dirk said with a shaky voice.

Todd quickly wiped his hands on a dirty towel before leaving the kitchen. “Sure, anything?” he answered softly, taking a seat on the couch, slightly too close to Dirk. Not that he minded being close to him…

“Can I…Can I stay here tonight?” Dirk stuttered, avoiding eye-contact.

Todd was taken aback by this request. If he was being honest, he had hoped that Dirk would finally open up about whatever was troubling him.

“Oh um, yes sure.” Todd answered. „I will make up the couch for you.” He quickly added.

The thought of sharing a bed with Dirk didn’t bother him, quite the opposite to be honest. It gave him butterflies just thinking about it. But he wanted to be a considerate friend and as long as Todd didn’t know for certain whether Dirk liked him like _that,_ he sure as hell didn’t want to make their situation any more awkward.

“Thank you.” Dirk said sincerely, looking back at Todd for the first time in a while.

“Don’t want to go back to your apartment?” Todd asked matter-of-factly. Not that he really needed any reason to spend more time with Dirk.

While waiting on a response, Todd rose from the couch and moved the mere 5 feet over to his bed. He guessed that he had a spare blanket and a few pillows wedged in a suitcase under his bed. They might not be super fresh, but still cleaner than the majority of things in his apartment at the moment, which Dirk had once fittingly called ‘a biohazard’.

“I um… sleep better when I’m not alone.” Dirk answered. This wasn’t exactly the truth, he had problems sleeping all the time. But Todd didn’t need to know that.

Todd couldn’t help but smirk. The always confident Mister Dirk Gently had problems sleeping on his own.

As he carried the bedding over and motioned for Dirk to help him pull out the couch, he couldn’t help thinking of this tall, scrawny guy in front of him.

Involuntarily, Todd thought back to the first few days he had spent with Dirk. When this weird british guy came falling through his window, announced Todd to be his assistant and then went to take him on the adventure of a lifetime. Todd remembered how off-putting and annoying Dirk was to him, so much so that Todd had promised himself multiple times that he would break off contact with Dirk the first chance he got.

‘Funny how that worked out’, Todd thought, ‘this man is about to spend the night on my couch.’

But through all the complications, lies and dangers of the last weeks and months, Todd had started to like Dirk’s eccentricities. As much as they would drive him up the wall sometimes, Todd couldn’t help the warm feeling spread through him every single time Dirk looked at him with that beaming smile of his.

He called Dirk his best friend, which, truly, he was. Todd had never really had a best friend in his life before. Maybe in kindergarten.

But lately, Todd had gotten the feeling that the butterflies in his stomach every time him and Dirk were alone, the static that flowed through his body whenever they touched and the warmth Dirk’s mere presence caused in him, meant more than just friendship. He didn’t feel this way with Farah or Amanda. This was _different_.

So, truthfully, embarrassingly, the brief thought of Dirk sleeping next to him in his bed had excited him more than he would ever care to admit.

Todd felt himself blush at the thought of it.

“So um, Dirk, what are your thoughts on this new case?” Todd chuckled, trying to take his mind of it.

“This is pretty exciting right? Getting back out there.” Todd rambled on. “I mean even though Farah and I had to hide from the FBI for the past couple months it was pretty boring without a case. I think the best approach here would be to-“

“CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT?” Dirk exclaimed, far too loud and far too harsh.

Todd bolted upright. This was a surprise. In all the time he had known Dirk, he had never heard him shout like that. Especially not at such a harmless topic.

Dirk stood removed from the couch, avoiding eye-contact once again, his fingers nervously twitching. “I’m just… really tired and we can talk about this tomorrow.” Dirk said while trying to regain his composure.

‘There it is again’, Todd thought. Dirk had already behaved weirdly when they went to examine the car and the house, but now outright refusing to talk about a case? That was not the Dirk Gently Todd knew and loved.

“Right.” Dirk huffed and ran a hand through his hair. He then walked over towards the bathroom, hoping that he could escape the conversation.

“Dirk.” Todd said, stopping him in his tracks. “Something’s clearly wrong. You have been acting strangely since you came back.”

“It’s fine.” Dirk answered, still not facing Todd. He didn’t want Todd to look at him right now.

“Is it?” he heard him say.

Dirk turned around to protest. He didn’t want, he didn’t _need,_ to talk about this right now. But as he saw Todd staring at him, his blue eyes filled with sadness and worry, Dirk felt a lump form in his throat. His eyes dangerously started to burn. He couldn’t cry in front of Todd, not _again_.

They just stood there for a few moments, looking at each other, unsure what to say or do.

Todd was the one to break the silence. With a sigh, he sat down on the edge of his bed. He patted the space next to him on the mattress, tilting his head toward Dirk.

“Tell me?” Todd asked softly, barely audible. But Dirk heard him.

Dirk’s head began to spin. How could he even begin to tell Todd the things on his mind, without revealing _too much_? Almost in a trance he walked over to the bed, gingerly placing himself next to Todd. This urged a certain feeling in his gut he couldn’t quite place.

“What happened at Blackwing?” Todd asked quietly, giving Dirk time and space to find the right words.

‘Of course he knows.’ Dirk thought. Naturally it was easy to assume that his odd behavior stemmed from his incarceration, but for Todd to mention the topic head-on made Dirk dizzy. He had tried to suppress the memories of the past two months. He had tried to be himself, to be strong for Todd and Farah. To be good old Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective, just like he was before. He had tried all of this and miserably failed.

Dirk sniffled and tried to blink away his tears. “The people at Blackwing…” he began, “They thought ‘holistic’ is synonymous to ‘psychic’.” Dirk tried a laugh. “They thought that we can predict the future, read minds, solve world hunger.”

It pained Todd to see Dirk still trying to hold onto his peppy persona. He clearly tried to make the situation seem funnier and more light-hearted than it truly was. But the tears clearly welling up in Dirk’s eyes betrayed him.

“So… they tested us.” Dirk continued.

“Us?” Todd wondered aloud and immediately regretted it. He had promised himself not to interrupt Dirk, now that he was willing to talk.

“Oh yeah, there were others. My ‘brothers and sisters’.” Dirk sniffled.

Todd recalled Dirk once telling him about how he was brought up with others of his kind. They weren’t related by blood, but their shared ability connected them. He remembered that Dirk and the others were torn away from their families to train in a special school together. But after government-funding broke up this project, all holistic personalities just scattered out into the world.

“I don’t know how many of us they had to be honest.” Dirk continued. “I only met two of them while I was there.”

Todd noticed Dirk’s focus fading away. He couldn’t lose this conversation now that they had already taken the first step. “So…what happened?” Todd reiterated.

Dirk swiped his hand across his nose. “They tested our abilities. Well, the abilities _they_ thought we had. They wanted me to predict things, move objects with my mind.” He chuckled slightly. “Quite silly if you ask me.”

“OK…?” Todd asked calmly after a few beats of silence.

Todd noticed Dirk’s eyes darken with horror as he continued his story. “Well of course none of it worked. And naturally that was… my fault. So I-“ Dirk’s voice broke.

“So I-“, he tried again.

Todd instinctively placed a hand on Dirk’s. He briefly flinched at the touch, but then let Todd comfort him.

Dirk inhaled deeply. “So I had to be punished.”

Todd shut his eyes in shock. Nausea built up in the pit of his stomach. He was unsure if he actually wanted to hear the rest of the story.

“Whenever even the slightest thing went wrong with any of the experiments, I would be punished for it.” Dirk explained, now letting his tears run freely down his cheek. “Usually it was electroshocks or whipping or slapping my fingers and arms.”

Todd stared in horror. Anger and nausea were building up within him and he didn’t know how to contain either. Dirk was staring into empty space, expressing what happened to him, seemingly without emotion in his voice. The tears that kept falling from his eyes betrayed him. Todd wanted to reach out and brush them away. He wanted to make him stop crying.

Todd had always thought of himself as a stubborn and tough man. But seeing Dirk cry was his kryptonite. It was enough to _break_ him.

“And that was only the immediate torture.” A chuckle escaped Dirk’s mouth; it sounded distorted to Todd’s ear. “They would starve me, sometimes for multiple days. They would keep me awake with loud sounds or harsh light-“ He stopped abruptly.

Todd turned his head to look at Dirk. He noticed a look on his face, a mix between fear and realization. There was something _else_.

“But the worst thing-“ Dirk tried.

‘There was something _worse_ than electroshocks, whipping and being starved??’ Todd thought in horror. He suddenly noticed Dirk’s hand shaking under his, and Todd regretted even asking about Blackwing in the first place. He wanted to speak up and stop all of this, he wanted to pull Dirk into a tight hug and never let him go again. But there was still a tiny part of him that, embarrassingly, wanted to know.

With a sudden determination, Dirk quickly wiped his tears away and took a big breath. His voice still shaky, he continued: “The worst thing was that they would show me… video clips. Over and over. Of… of you. And Farah. Being tortured.”

Todd’s heart sank.

“That’s why I was so surprised when I saw you guys again because I truly thought-“ he broke off. “I truly thought they had you too. And that they- tortured _you_ , in order to hurt _me_.”

Todd’s eyes had fallen to Dirk’s lips, which were trembling. Todd knew better than to ask for details.

“Of course you weren’t really there, god knows how they managed to crate the videos… but ever since then I just keep thinking…You. And Farah. You guys had to go through all this dangerous shit because of me. Because I pulled you into this world and forced you to work with me.”

The two of them just sat there. Minutes went by, maybe even half an hour. Todd had lost any sense of time and space. He just sat there, looking at Dirk, and just let him cry.

Todd knew that Dirk was too proud to let anyone see him cry. Anyone except Todd. And subconsciously, he was proud of that. Proud that Dirk felt safe enough to confide in him, to be vulnerable around him.

After a while, Dirk looked up again with a sigh. “And then when you had your Pararibulitis attack, Todd…”

Todd sighed internally. Not this again.

“Dirk that’s not…” Todd tried.

Dirk interrupted him. “I realized that I can’t help you. I couldn’t help you then, and I wouldn’t be able to help you later. I can’t _save_ you. When they showed me these videos…my worst nightmare came to life.”

Todd felt tears burning in his eyes. He had always wondered, whether Dirk Gently, this holistic being, actually cared about him as much as Todd cared about him. If Dirk _could_ feel like him. The tears were about to spill when he eventually realized that they might be sharing the same feeling after all.

“That’s why I didn’t want to start this new case. I could already feel that it was going to be dangerous sooner or later, and I don’t want to put you in harms way again.” Dirk sniffled again.

“You know back in the day? When it was just me? I didn’t think twice about taking a case. Because worst case, I would die. I would lose my own life and not be responsible for anything else. I had nothing to lose. But now…” Dirk trailed off, looking up to meet Todd’s eyes. “There’s a lot more at stake…”

Todd squeezed Dirk’s hand. “Dirk listen, me and Farah… we got here on our own. Believe me, we will be fine. We will solve this case and help so many people-“

“DON’T YOU GET IT TODD??” Dirk exclaimed. “I couldn’t bear seeing you get hurt again!”

Dirk getting so hysteric was so outlandish for someone as proud and composed as him. But Todd was, while shocked at his outburst, flattered by the sentiment.

Over the past few weeks when Dirk was gone, Todd hadn’t been able to focus on anything really. He barely spoke to anyone, couldn’t sleep or eat. Every waking moment was consumed with worry for Dirk’s safety. But from day to day, a sense of longing had entered Todd’s mind as well. He wanted Dirk around him, at all times if possible. This feeling culminated a few nights ago when, lying awake once again, Todd had to be brutally honest with himself. He was undeniably in love with Dirk Gently.

So to now know that Dirk had worried about him just as much as Todd had worried about Dirk… it gave him _hope_.

On impulse, Todd took Dirk’s face in both hands and made him look at him. Dirk stared back at him, his eyes still wet, red and slightly puffy. Those grey eyes, that were filled with an overwhelming amount of sadness, and a little surprise at Todd’s behavior, were so ridiculously captivating that Todd had to remind himself of what he wanted to say.

“Listen to me Dirk”, he said firmly, “none of this _is_ or _was_ your fault. Ever. Understood?”

Dirk didn’t say anything. He still stared back at Todd in absolute disbelief, as if he had just revealed all the secrets of the universe.

Todd could feel the soft skin of Dirk’s face underneath his palms, his fingertips being tickled by the hair on the back of Dirk’s head. With his thumb, Todd lightly brushed away a tear that was still sitting on Dirk’s cheek. He just wanted him to be ok again. Dirk inaudibly gasped at the touch.

Todd’s eyes kept drifting back to Dirk’s lips, which were still slightly agape. Todd couldn’t take it any longer.

Slowly but decidedly, he leaned towards Dirk and connected their lips. Todd’s eyes fell shut as he felt Dirk’s soft lips press against his own. His stomach felt as if it was about to explode.

It was the best feeling he had ever felt. To be so close to Dirk, to this eccentric, annoying, funny, clever, sweet man. The first person who had ever made him feel like this. The person he had been looking for.

He realized that he probably smelled of beer and sweat, which definitely wasn’t a pleasant combination. But in that moment, he simply didn’t care.

As Todd slowly pulled away, he rested his forehead against Dirk’s, a stupid smile creeping over his face. As Todd just stayed there, taking Dirk in, his thoughts were interrupted.

“What was that?” he heard Dirk ask.

Todd pulled away. “Huh?” He asked in utter confusion.

Todd immediately panicked. Had this gone too far? Had he just done something that Dirk didn’t even want? Had he been blind and simply ignored that Dirk didn’t feel the same way as he did?

“What you…just did?” Dirk asked again, his voice still slightly strained. “What… was that?”

“A…kiss?” Todd answered stupidly.

“Mhm.” Dirk remarked. “Is that a human thing? A kiss?”

Todd simply stared at him in awe. He didn’t know what to say. “Well… yes…”

“Interesting.” Dirk answered.

“Y-You… don’t know what kissing is?” Todd asked, still unsure of what to think.

“Well I think I have seen it before. Like on the TV.” Dirk said, folding his hands in his lap. “But what is it good for?”

Todd felt himself turn completely red. He had chosen to kiss Dirk, because he had assumed that everyone knew what a kiss meant. He assumed Dirk would understand Todd’s intention. Once again, Todd was proven wrong.

He scratched the back of his head, trying to come up with the right words. He had never thought that one day, he would have to explain what kissing is.

“Well kissing…” Todd started awkwardly, “you know, the thing we just did…is usually done by…. Couples…” he eyed Dirk nervously, “ _Romantic_ couples… to express their… interest in one another…”

Todd noticed Dirk’s pupils dilate. He had understood.

“Oh… so…?” Dirk inquired, raising an eyebrow.

‘Please don’t make me say it’, Todd thought. He had already blushed crimson trying to explain kissing to this _alien_ , at this point it was just torture.

Thankfully, Dirk let the sentence unfinished and just nodded absentmindedly. As awkward as this entire evening had been, it felt as though a weight had been lifted off Todd’s shoulders. No matter where they would go from here, at least Dirk finally understood how he felt.

“It felt… good.” Dirk mumbled.

Todd bolted upright. Dirk looked at him with his usual smirk on his face, the sadness completely drowned out. “Can we do it again?”

Todd laughed out loud.

Without another word, he cupped Dirk’s chin with his hand and pulled him close. He connected their lips once again, this time more confidently than before. He felt Dirk close his eyes too, his hand lightly came to rest on Todd’s arm.

Dirk leaned into the embrace, surprisingly not put-off by the frankly disgusting taste of beer that was still lingering on Todd’s lips. It didn’t matter though. Because it was _Todd_.

For Todd, everything blurred out of existence. This apartment, their job, his illness, his family and friends. For him, there was only Dirk at this moment. Dirk’s lips tasted as sickeningly sweet as expected; softly they moved against his in a manner that made it hard for Todd to believe that Dirk had never done this before.

Every time they parted, they were pulled back in immediately. Getting used to each other’s rhythm and technique. This was new, this was exciting.

Both of them knew that Dirk wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> DGHDA has actually inspired me so much, i'm working on a mini-fic right now so keep your eyes peeled for that one in the next few days/weeks!
> 
> take care, Lena xx


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